While the Leaves Fall
by Mary Marcato
Summary: I didn't say anything, wasn't even feeling like guessing. But, deep inside, my heart squeezed a little… I should've known I was about to listen to something I wouldn't forget… Better… Couldn't forget so easily… Ow, well… That's my life… T


I wrote this fic a long time ago… But just now I got the courage to correct my mistakes and try to publish it… It's a fic about Pan and Trunks. Don't like them, don't read. As a matter of fact… it's my first fic in English, so… if anyone wants to revise it to me, I would appreciate it. And I really, really appreciate reviews :) hehehe.

This fic was based on the song "Big Girl" by Amélia. I didn't write the lyric because it's not exactly the same thing, I just listened to the song and thought about Trunks and Pan and it felt right, the "scenario" at least. So, I hope you all like.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own DB, DBZ or DBGT or anything from the world Dragon Ball. Don't sue me, I don't have money…

# # # -

'Words' – Speech

"Words" – Thoughts

_Words_ – Memories

# # # -

**While the leaves fall**

# # # -

_A leaf is falling._

_Looking through my window, it seems that it is the first one. Autumn… Not the saddest, but a sad season nonetheles__s. More so when you're feeling like___**your**_ world is __falling__ too, little by little…_

_The phone rang many times, while the day out there seems to be without life, slow motion, at least to me. I lifted from my comfortable chair where I was sitting while doing some paper work, as always. After all, it isn't as if I had other things to do. Maybe feed my dog, but he can survive a little more without it… What__? I'm hungry too and I'm not complaining, am I?_

_Well, whatever. _

_I walked to the phone and picked it up, lazily. I sigh__ed a little exaggerated, couldn't help, I was really bored, maybe even sad. I was never the person who liked to be alone – even if I'm living this way for three years already – and I'm really alone now, for sure. I listened someone through the phone and realized that I wasn't paying attention. Ow, hell, what am I doing? Stop wonder, baka, there's some crazy person who wants to talk to you! Well, I think anybody is crazy to want to talk to me… Big deal._

'_Hello' I said not too much lively._

'_Pan-chan!' I removed the phone from near my ear. Crazy woman, does she want me to be deaf? As if I already don't have enough problems. As _**him**_, for example. That stupid and arrogant and selfish and… I sighed again, it isn't time to remember about that _baka_ and that stupid girl that he calls… 'Pan-chan?' _

_I blinked, remembering that my grandma was __still on the other side. _

'_Oh, sorry, grandma… I'm a little distracted today.' I said in that same lazy way. I heard a little sigh on the other side, but didn't say anything. My grandma, even if it doesn't look like, knows what is my problem. Better, _**who**_ is my problem._

_Well, I suppose__ she doesn't know _**exactly**_ who is my problem, but she knows that there is someone..._

_Oh! Whatever!_

'_Pan-chan, are you eating well?' She said a little concerned and I can't help a little smile to form on my lips. Grandma Chi Chi… always thinking that I need to eat: "Always so slim" She says… I am, I know, but it's other thing that I really can't help, I _**always **_was like this. Except an addition of a little curve here, other there, but I don't really care about it._

'_Yeah, grandma. I'm eating everything that you told me to eat.' Well, almost everything, hehe. Hey! Don't expect me to eat broccoli, do you?_

'_OK, doesn't matter.' She said, to my surprise, and her mood seemed to change dramatically, cheering up again. Ow, well, that's my grandma after all… 'Listen, dear… I have a really wonderful notice to tell you!' _

_I didn't say anything__, wasn't even feeling like guessing._

_But, deep inside, my heart squeezed a little… I should've known __I was about to listen to something I wouldn't forget… Better… _Couldn't_ forget so easily…_

_Ow, well… That's my life…_

# # # -

'Bye bye, dear.'

'Bye, grandma.' Chi Chi heard the "click" from the other line and hung the phone up too, a small sad smile on the corner of her mouth.

She remained there, looking at the phone, still smiling. She knew her granddaughter very well, ow, how she knew that little one. "Well, not too little anymore…"

Not little, but still acting like one. Chi Chi sighed to the thought, her little Pan was a stubborn girl, always was. Well, she couldn't say anything about it, the girl took it after herself. But, still… Too stubborn!

Chi Chi sat on a chair beside the telephone table, while lost in her thoughts. She knew what she did wasn't exactly the right thing, but, what else could've she done?

She also knew that Gohan wouldn't help, well, he didn't even know, but if he did… Ow, she didn't want to imagine what could happen.

Videl probably was aware, but Chi Chi knew too well that she wasn't the right person to "help" on that situation, Gohan would never forgive her.

And… Chi Chi chuckled, thinking about the others Son… Too dense to understand.

Her smile faded and she sighed again. If nobody would help her beloved little girl, she would, after all, she never was the _quiet_ one, literally, hehehe.

This morning she received a _very_ terrible notice – despite what she said to her granddaughter. And she knew how Pan would be now, after she told her what the "wonderful notice" was. However, she _had_ to tell her. Chi Chi knew for sure that no one would tell Pan what was happening, because the one supposed to do so was _him._ And after what happened between the two of them, well, Chi Chi didn't think he would tell her so early. Hah! If his father knew about his lack of guts!

However, her wonderful grandma wouldn't let that happen! Ow, no way! Even if she had to say things when it wasn't her place to do so…

Chi Chi sighed again… Pan didn't know that grandma was aware of her little princess feelings. Well, it wasn't so difficult, at least not to the old heart of a grandma. However, that phone call would probably be as far as she would go… After all, Pan had to get a grip of her own life… And now…

Well, now she would pray, for her grandchild's happiness was on her own hands.

"Dear Pan… Don't let your pride push you away from your happiness…"

'Chi Chi, where are you?' Chi Chi lifted her head when she heard that well known voice. A little grin appeared on her mouth.

'C'ming, Goku!'

"Dear Pan… I hope that you find and get your _The one_ too… He's not so far from you, just follow your heart, it'll lead you…"

A smile appeared on her mouth, while she got up and went to the direction where her _heart _heard the voice…

# # # -

I can't believe on it…

I wiped my tears off again and again. How long since I knew? How long since my world fell? How could this have happened? How he _dare_ not to tell me? We had an argument, but it wasn't a big deal, shit! He couldn't do this to me… He couldn't just…

Just leave me…

C'mon, Pan… Stop crying, it won't solve anything. I wiped my eyes with my hands, and rested my face on my hands, thinking about what grandma told me.

"They will marry, Pan! We will have a big wedding and I know that you will want a wonderful dress! I know you don't like it, but it's your best friend wedding! Ow… You'll be beautiful…"

Well, she wasn't so sure if it was exactly what her grandma said... After the word "marry" she didn't listened very well. Didn't listen, didn't say, didn't feel anymore…

Pan fell on her sofa without any care, she didn't care about anything anymore. Her mind started to travel again and she saw herself forgotten her tears for a while.

'_Hey, Panny! Wanna a ride home?'_

'_Panny! Guess what! I gained that bet with Goten! I knew he couldn't get that girl! So, I'm with money today, let's have ice cream?'_

'_You have to be much faster, Pan-chan, you'll never beat me if you don't train harder!'_

'_You're the most important person to me, Panny… You're my best friend.'_

Other tear…

_Friend_

The word echoed through her, maybe over and over again. Friend… It was all that she was for him…

'Stupid tears! Just stop, ok! Stop!'

In vain… There she was, lying on her sofa, crying her heart out… It hurt so much… Why did he have to do it? Why couldn't he see she was the perfect one, that she always would be there for him, that she loved him more than anyone could _ever_ do…?

Her thoughts went to _her_. One of his many girlfriends. She didn't really pay much attention, just a little more than the others, since she already knew that one. But, she never really paid that much attention as to actually be concerned. After all, his relationships never lasted too long, why this one would be different? Pan always thought that her time would come, that one day he would see she wasn't little anymore.

How wrong. How bitterly wrong…

'_Panny! I want you to be the first one to know who I'm dating.'_

'_Isn't she great? I knew you would approve.'_

'_As you already know her, you'll be there to help in case she and I fight, right? Hehehe.'_

That stupid, idiot, big jerk! How _dare_ he ask her if she likes _anyone_ as his girlfriend? Anyone! And how could _she_ say "no" to him…? How could she say to him that she didn't like his girlfriend or any other girlfriend he could possibly have. He would ask why. Yeah, he would ask… And… How could she say…

"_Cause I love you."_

Never.

He would never look at her again. He would say that she lied to him, that she pretended to be his friend to try to have something with him, like every other girl in the world already had tried to.

She couldn't lose his friendship.

"_They will marry!"_

But she couldn't lose his _heart_!

Forever.

Pan started to cry harder, more and more. She couldn't pretend anymore, she couldn't just pretend that she didn't feel anything, that her heart didn't scream in pain every time she saw him kissing other girl… That her body didn't ache for his every time she saw him holding other body…

She loved him… Every part, every perfection, every flaw of his… Everything…

'I love you so much…'

'…'

"_I'm a big big girl, in a big big girl, it's not a big thing if you live me…"_

She heard her neighbor's radio, and just for a second she forgot her pain… Listening to that song that she didn't for so long…

"_But I do do feel, that I too too will, miss you much…"_

Yeah… She would miss him like hell… After all, she could "survive", she wasn't the type who would die or kill herself because of an unrequited love…

Yet…

Her heart would've already been dead.

Still… She had already tried, right? Well, they had fought, at least. Because of his girlfriend, because of what she thought (not everything, of course) about he been dating that girl.

It was terrible. Their worst argument. The first time she had the horrible feeling that she couldn't have him ever.

'_How dare you say that she isn't right to me, Pan?'_

'_I can't believe that you're actually trying to make me break up! You never did it before!'_

'_You said we were friends! So, just because of it you don't want me to be with anybody but you?'_

'_Why this now? Why you're being so selfish?'_

'_I'm wrong? So, tell me why I'm wrong!'_

After that one, she remembered, she just looked at him, angry, really angry, but lost of words. Yet… She saw in his eyes that he expect something… Almost beg her to tell something…

But she didn't tell anything… She couldn't tell anything… She was too afraid of losing his friendship. Too afraid of losing him…

Because she loved him…

Pan looked trough the window of her apartment one more time, more leaves falling from that tree near her apartment. It begun to rain, the leaves flying away… So gray… So sad… So cold… So like her own heart…

She didn't feel her tears anymore. Maybe because there weren't any left, maybe because her face was too wet for her to feel any other one…

She was still on her couch. So lonely… She was always like this in her darkest days, when she loses all hope, when only his face comes to her mind.

His arms… How many times he held her, and to her it never was enough…

His smile… How many times she saw him smile to her, just to her, and happiness seemed like it would last forever…

His eyes… Ow, those beautiful blue eyes… When they locked on her dark brown ones… It was as if time stopped…

Together…

She heard a noise, and opened her eyes…

Alone again…

He wasn't there anymore… He would never be there anymore…

Pan sighed, while lifting from her couch. She walked to the kitchen, seeing her dog beating the wardrobe where he knew would have food.

'Ow, you little noisy boy. I forgot your food, didn't I?'

She smiled when he looked at her, pleading. She couldn't resist those literally doggie eyes. She laughed a little, picking his bowl. He barked for a second, right before she could make a "shhh" to him, knowing very well her neighbor would complain.

When she put the bowl on the floor, the dog ran to it, making Pan chuckle.

'Just you to make me smile right now, _nee_?' She stroke his fur a little, already lifting from the floor.

However, she stopped when her hand touched her dog's collar… And her eyes became sad again.

'_I have a surprise to you, Panny.'_

'_I hope you like him, he already has a name. Look here.'_

Pan caught the pendant on the collar, but she didn't read the name… She turned it, and read what was written in the back.

"_For__ Pan, with love..."_

She couldn't finish… It was too much to her…

'I can't pretend that he will not get married. If it wasn't now, it would be one other day… I can't lose him… Not this time, not ever...'

And in a second she was on her hallway. She picked her white coat and her white boots too.

She opened her door, looking one last time to her house, thinking if she could face him and tell him…

Pan made a determinate face, one that she had lost so long ago.

'It's today… Today you'll know _why_, you _baka_…'

And she closed her door, not looking to her past anymore… Just seeing her future. And maybe… A future with her _One_.

"I have to stop talking so much to grandma Chi Chi." She thought, smiling this time.

# # # -

Her path was tense and unaware of anything surrounding her. The red and brown leaves falling from the trees… It was just a scenario that she couldn't afford to pay attention anymore. People walked everywhere, but the sounds, the movements, everything looked as if in slow motion, as if nothing mattered more than what she was going to do.

The wind continuously running against her cold skin, with her white coat around her petite body Pan continued walking, doesn't looking to her sides. If someone she knew passed, she didn't even realized. All that mattered was what she was going to do… What she _needed_ to do… What she was so damn afraid of doing…

She walked slowly, but firmly, looking ahead, always ahead, her mind running like never before… What was she supposed to do? _W_hat was she supposed to say? How would he react?

Gosh… Too many questions, too many doubts… Too many fears.. Too many…

There was no more time for that… Pan stopped suddenly, facing the building where she so often found him…

There was really no more time to questions… To doubts… To fears…

Yet... They were still there...

# # # -

It was a damn depressing day, even with all the movement on his office, more than normal, should he say… Usually, he would have a bunch of papers to read and sign, a really boring job. However, today there were too many people there, too many papers, too _clothes_! Damn…

The man was exhausted, to say the least. Even though he was a person with very good financial conditions, he wasn't the type who liked these kind of things… All these things to choose, all this clothes, colors, cakes, prices… Why does it have to be so complicated?

"Because she wants…"

Oh, yeah… Because of _her_… The girl was the sweetest person in the world (sometimes too sweet)… Pretty, elegant, always smiling, if he could define her, he would say "porcelain doll"…

Yeah, that was the very right definiton… Everybody was so happy, so content with this… "A beautiful couple!", "They look great on the magazines, right?"

He sighed… Yeah… A very good looking couple… A very good "appearance"…

Hell… She was beautiful, cute, kind, sweet, understanding… The perfect woman to marry, right? Right?

Yeah… Marron was perfect for almost everyone in the world… Shouldn't she be to him too? Wasn't him in love with her? Wasn't he happy with this marriage?

"If only _her_ was by my side, supporting me…"

The man's eyes widened when the thought came… Was this what was bothering him? Was it because she wasn't there supporting this? Suffering this torture of marriage planning with him? After all, she was always there… Good, bad, funny, sad moments…

No…

He shouldn't be thinking about her… Not after their argument… Not the common ones… _That _argument…

The man put his had between his hands, not paying attention to a man that was asking what color he prefered for the curtains…

'_I just think she isn't right to you!'_

'_Sorry to say what I'm thinking about it, ok?'_

'_I never tried to make you break up because you always saw by yourself that they weren't the right ones…'_

'_Of course we're friends! I just don't want you to continue dating someone you don't really love!'_

'_Me, selfish? Why can't you understand my reasons?'_

'_You… I… Forget it… Do as you please…'_

After that she walked away, and his last hope was torn apart…

Last hope!

Yeah… He always thought that if he dated someone else, she would…

But there was no comeback now…

And all he could do now was ask someone to tell her about this wedding thing. Because he just couldn't face her right now… Just what would he say if she suddenly opened his office door demanding –

'What the fucking hell are you _thinking _of doing, Trunks?"

He froze… Lifted very slowly his had toward his office door… As everybody was doing…

And he saw… And his eyes widened…

# # # -

So, that's it.

Pan sighed just one more time, looking the elevator's door opening now… Through the long hallway she saw many people walking and working as fast as, or faster than ever. And, in the end of the hallway was the big wood door… Which.. On the other side…

The girl closed her eyes for a minute, for just open them suddenly…

Without thinking anything else, nothing that could make her hesitate just for a moment… She crossed the hallway, and without any second wasted…

She opened the door with a...

'What the fucking hell are you _thinking_ of doing, Trunks?'

She suddenly yelled, to everyone who wanted to listen…

# # # -

He was speechless…

She was angry…

He didn't know what to say…

She had a bunch of things to say…

He finally spoke, saying to everyone to go out… He didn't want anyone to witness any fight, specially with her.

She didn't give a damn if there were anyone there or not.

He was quite, after everyone went out.

She just realized what happened... After everyone went out.

'Uh…'

Silence.

…

'So..' They said at the same moment… And the silence came back again.

"What now, what now, Pan?" Finally some sense came to the girl right in the middle of the big office. How could she loose her temper on that manner? What would everyone think of that? No… What would _he_ think of that?

Well... He knew her enough to know there shoud be something really bothering her if she lost her temper like that... Right?

'So… What was that, Pan?' The calm voice made her look at the man once again.

The same blue eyes…

Well, she didn't expect him to change, right? Duh…

'Hn...' She murmured short and softly, coming back from her thoughts, knowing pretty well that his questioning gaze was still on her.

The girl lowered her had, preventing the redness to be seeing by him… She looked to one side, her expression grave, pained…

The man looked confused to this. Pan… Pained? What's that?

And, if reading his mind, her expression changed again, angry, she looked up.

'How can you think of marrying and not even telling me? At least ask someone to do so!' He was taken aback by her suddenly change of mood. However, as if finally realizing what was happening, he became angry too.

'What do you mean by that? I'm not anything of yours to need to inform you of each thing I want to do!' As fast as the words was spoken, he shut his mouth, realizing the meaning of it, while her eyes god wide and Pan looked away again.

'I thought we were at least friends…'

And that was enough to make the tension dissipate. To make his eyes softened once more, as they always did around her…

The man didn't say anything else, he just walked toward the young woman. In front of her, he lifted one of his hands, caressing her face. The woman leaned almost subcounsciously to his hand, and then finally looked at him again, eyes full of pain, making his ones hurt too…

'Sorry for that… I didn't mean… You know it…' As she didn't respond, he felt the need to continue. 'Your opinion is the most important to me, Pan. You know it, right?' And to his disappointment, the young woman turned her face away again, away from his touch, making he lose the contact with her skin.

'Then… Why didn't you tell me…?' Her voice was low, almost a whisper. And he felt his heart ache with the sound. He closed his eyes for a moment, before he looked again at her and answered.

'You were angry with me… About this very same subject… I didn't want to upset you even more.' And the sight his words brought almost made him broke.

Her eyes, Pan beautiful dark brow eyes were full of tears… As he just witnessed during rare times… Really, really rare times.

'Don't you know don't telling me would upset me even more? Don't you know you're so important to me that I _always_ want to know what happens to you? If you are sad or happy? Angry or calm? Don't you?'

And this time were his eyes that got filled with tears, which he hide turning back. She couldn't do this to him, couldn't make him so fragile, couldn't make him so dependant of her, and yet, never –

'You shouldn't worry so much. I'm a grown man, who knows what he wants and how to surpass his difficulties.' He scoffed to himself... "Yeah, right".

Silence.

He really expected her to get angry again. It would be a lot easier than this depressive Pan he wasn't so used to.

But she didn't say anything for a long time, making him almost turn back to see if she was still there.

'Will you really marry her?' He flinched for a second, but was sure that she couldn't see it.

'Yes.'

'Why?'

Silence once more…

Why would he marry Marron?

That was a good question. Because he loved her? Because he was happy like this? Because he just didn't want to be a bachelor anymore?

No… He knew pretty well it weren't any of those…

He knew the right answer… He just… Just couldn't say it.

And not wanting to lie, he didn't answer.

The silence was longer than before, while Pan felt her heart breaking peace by peace. She couldn't handle this anymore, she needed to stop it.

Run…

She needed to run from there.

And without saying anything else, the young woman turned away… Leaving slowly the office, not able to walk any faster.

As for Trunks... Feeling uneasy by her silence, started to turn back, saying something. But stopped when he saw she was walking away, already passing the door from his office.

Panic.

He couldn't let this finish like that! Why? Just...!

'Why?'

Was his turn to ask, and as a spell who could paralyze, the young woman stopped, turning once more towards him, eyes questioning.

'Why don't you want me to marry her?'

And this time was the young woman that flinched for a split second, eyes surprised, then sad.

The man just looking at her, eyes full of a sparkle she couldn't decipher.

She breathed deeply, because she knew it was now or she never again would have the oportunity or at least the courage.

'Because… I love you.'

# # # -

Trunks looked to Pan with eyes full of hope. He was a stupid, still thinking one day she would return his feelings. Always thinking that maybe if he dated other girls she would finally feel some jealousy and realize, maybe, that she loved him too.

But that should be the last time… The last time he would allow himself to expect what he truly wanted.

He looked direct into her eyes, and she breathed deeply… Please, say it.

'Because… I love you.'

His eyes widened. And never, in reality, expecting this, he froze, his mind running faster than ever. His body didn't answer to his commands.

She…

She…

However… In his stupidity, he was too late to realize that seeing his surprise, she must have think he was rejecting her, because her eyes was full of sadness once again, and before he could say anything, she suddenly turned away, closing the door behind her.

She…

She…

"Trunks! Your fucking stupid big head! Do something!" He mind yelled at him.

And as if a "click" happened, he ran…

# # # -

'Because… I love you.'

She finally said.

And his eyes were full of surprise.

Pan waited, her heart beating hard on her chest. She waited for any other reaction. Just a "Sorry, Pan. I don't feel the same."

But nothing came… Nothing…

Not able to handle her pain anymore, the young woman finally turned away. She wouldn't bother him anymore…

She walked faster than before to the elevator, wanting to get away from there as fast as possible, feeling kind of suffocated around that place so full of his presence. Luckily the elevator already was there, she entered and pressed to the first floor.

It was the end. The end of her hopes, the end of her friendship with him.

Tears fell from her eyes, slowly and quiet… The pain too much to handle.

She would survive… But… It would never be the same… And how it hurt…

The elevator arrived to its destination, and she walked toward the front door of Capsule Corp without looking to anyone, anywhere. Now she would go to her apartment, and cry her heart out, turning off her telephone, pretending that she wasn't home to anyone… It would be almost the same as before… Just, really... Just more painful.

The leaves were still falling, and it was a little colder than it was earlier... As her heart, although she didn't think her heart would warm up again…

She finally had the courage to say, to express her feelings to the most important person in the world to her. But… it seemed he didn't feel at least a bit the same… She really, even for a moment, really had hoped… After "I love you", he would smile and say the same. However… Her life was never a fairy tale…

And, to her, the worst possibility was to him say he couldn't feel the same. Ow, no... It could be worse, Pan... He could say he didn't want to see her ever again, that they couldn't be friends anymore. But… He didn't say anything… She didn't know she should be relieved or not... Was it so shocking she could love him? Was he so surprised? If… At least… While she walked away he'd scream her name and –

'Pan!'

- and she would've stopped, and looked back -

And she _really_ stopped, and she really looked back.

- and Trunks would've been running towards her and would've hug her and -

And he _really_ was running towards her and… And he wasn't _just_ hugging her…

…

Pan sighed between kisses… Tasting his lips, his so desired lips… And while his hands hold her like it never had before, like it was forbidden to do so until now… Pan smiled against his mouth, against his warm and caring embrace, feeling the electricity of his touch, more so than ever…

And she knew… He would never let go…

She felt happy, she felt alive, she felt complete…

While the leaves fall…

# # # -

End

08/05/2005

Rewrite ine: 25/06/2010

Mary Marcato

# # # -

Author's note: I actually wrote this one a long time ago... Yet, I should've know my english wasn't good enough at the time... I won't even pretend it is good enough now either, but I actually enjoyed rewriting it, sth I don't usually do... Writing in english is a rather challenging task, and I know for a fact it doesn't feel the same as when you read sth made for someone who actually _knows_ since birth that particular language.

Even so... I am trying, and I really hope someday I'll be able to write a full fanfic with many chapters in english... For practice, of course, but also because I know there are many more readers in english than when I write in portuguese (sth to do with "access" to the internet :P)

So... I would really appreciate if you guys could send me some feedback... I know DB is not as famous as it used to... But I know there are still some fans, just like me, who could never forget it.

Well, I guesse that's it... Thank you guys for your time and I hope you had enjoyed it! Maybe soon I'll write some Zutara (Avatar)... And maybe there will be someone who wants to read it too!

_Ja ne!_


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